Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods

I’m still not sure where to start. I’m actually still not sure what happened last night. I know we started this movie. I know their remake of “Glory Glory Hallelujah” as an opening number had us laughing. But about they time the lead actors took off on motorcycles against a tie dye background it gets a little fuzzy. In fact I’m pretty sure this may have been a CIA attempt at hypnosis and subliminal thought implantation. At the end I was scared. I looked over to find one friend perturbed that his nap had been disturbed (running theme) and the other trying to figure out how he had just been violated.

His mouth agape in abject horror. He said “that movie was like the dirty condom you wake up to find hanging out of you.” Was it consensual? How did happen? It even made you wonder if your bed was actually your bed. This movie had an assortment of everything: Lesbian witch covens, devil preachers, angry elvises, dildo of the Armageddon, and stereotypes of parodies of stereotypes of real life.

Were we entertained? 2 /3 of us certainly were. Could any of us tell you what the movie was about or anything that happened? No. Absolutely not. And if I could I probably wouldn’t tell you, because really, there are no expectations to have for this movie.  It was written by it’s producer, director, and main actor. It’s credits were shorter than a rolodex entry. And surprisingly it succeeded in inflicting more mental trauma than Martyrs, even though Gory Gory should be rated PG-13.

Can I recommend it? It’s a niche movie for sure. And if you do drugs (lots of them) it would probably make it more interesting… though it may permanently affect your mental state. But in the end, yes, there were zombies.

2.5/5 Corkscrews to the Penis

This entry was posted on 08/27/2009 at 15:22 and is filed under 2 Brains with tags American Horror, B-Grade, Blood, Campbell, Campy, Chainsaws, Cheesy, Comedy, Demons, Directors, Flies, Fucked up, Fulci, Fun, Gore, Graphic, Grave Digger, Guns, Guts, Headless Corpse, Horror, Japanese Horror, Knives, Machetes, Massacre, Monsters, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nightmares, Raimi, Romero, Schlock, Sex, Silly, Special Effects, Strippers, Tequila, Transgender, Troma, Undead, Vampires, Virgins, Zombies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.