Dog Soldiers (Watched 9/24/09)
“Wuts thet? Ya chent undastan wut Um ceyin?” Nope. In fact in a room of five people who knew this movie made reference to other movies we often found ourselves making up our own dialogue. In short controlled bursts, of course. The movie was a lot of fun and landed right on the heels of lasts week movie, which also had a budget. The problems with having a budget in this blog is an automatic subtraction of .5 a brain. Not because we’re biased, but because it usually means the filmmaker knows what they were doing.
Though the movie didn’t necessarily hit schlock, the werewolves certainly did. Vile, bloodthirsty creatures, who want nothing more to rip you to shreds…. outside. Once inside they become bewildered by the interior decorating and befuddled by the cushy carpet. Standing there they can only wait until someone shoots them so they have a reason to leave.
Dog Soldiers (link to imdb) definitely had it’s moments though… and if you have a firm grasp of the Scottish accent it most definitely has more, like…. a jeep that drives itself, superglue surgery, a goldilocks tale to make the Grimms smile, cadaver dungeons, super high octane propane with enhanced nuclear capabilities, and a dog killer…
It certainly doesn’t have… nakedness (don’t clothes rip when you become a werewolf?), spoons, innovative weapon technology, some much needed silver…
Ultimately though, we had fun, and that’s what it’s all about. It’ll probably leaving you wondering why they worked so hard on the plot or if it needed to last 105 minutes or if Scotland really is that big. It’s pretty light* on gore and really unoffensive* considering what we normally watch*. I mean no nuns strapped on dildos and went after zombie Elvis impersonators until they vomited their intestines, course there’s always next week.
3/5 “dead flying fucking cows”
Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods 
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