Tokyo Gore Police (watched 12/22/09)
Tokyo. Check. Gore. Check. Police. Check. The title is the plot summary. The plot is any combination of the three words in the title used to construct a scene. 24 hours later I still can’t tell you exactly what happened so I’m going to review this movie as fellow schlocker Greg (on his return from the placid hills of Itally) suggested:
What we leared from Tokyo Gore Police:
1) Japanese culture has some serious issues to resolve.
2) It is possible to desanguinate a body without spilling a drop.
3) If you find yourself in a brothel in Tokyo and they take you to a back room with chairs and straps, run.
4) Police are always corrupt.
5) Somehow, 3 quarters of the way into the movie, an even gorier killing spree happens.
6) Certain tumors allow body parts that are damaged to regenerate as weapons.
7) Darth Vader is that you?
8 ) “Hand Gun” is now a pun
9) It is possible to cut off a face with a wine bottle
10) Tarantino would be jealous of the umbrella scene
11) Alligator Vaginas, Lotus Flower Female Ejaculation, and a 4 Foot mutated penis that fire “bullets” fit within an R rating, but pubic hair doesn’t
12) We should have watched it with subtitles
Watching Tokyo Gore Police a mere few weeks after Sars Wars has me realizing Asian cult films are light years ahead and on the other side of a very large cultural gap. I’m not really sure how to rate TGP. However, I suspect that it’s entertainment increases as your awareness of Japanese culture does. Also it is one nonstop gore fest of bad special effects. It starts with a homicidally, deranged, chainsaw wielding mass murder; climaxes with a police crime spree; and finishes off with the hero? killing all the bad guys who had killed all the good guys. Oh yeah… I’m trying to say there is no down time, it’s all blood, all action from start to stop. Fun for the group, not for the family.
3.5/5 chewed up caterpillars (why? oh why?!?!)
Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods 
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