Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods

When was the last time we heard about a movie involving a professional wrestler and two kids trying to save the world? Oh that’s right, Spykids. How did that one turn out? I didn’t watch it either.

The unfortunate thing about Santa’s Slay is that it starts off with some promise. James Caan sits at the head of the dinner table, there’s some adulteress fingerbanging going on, and Bill Goldberg pops out of the chimney to wreak some havoc. The rest of the movie is a little too concerned with trying to develop the origin of this Santa and how to deal with him. And when it’s not concerned with an origin story you could care less about the movie feels more like Santa’s WWF (Yeah I remember when it was still a sport) than a slay. The movie does have some good laughs interspersed through it, but on the whole it’s a little too hokey and not enough schlocky.

Admittedly Santa’s Slay was my first foray into the evil Santa genre so I can’t tell you how it stacks up compared to Santa Slasher, Christmas Evil, Black Christmas or Silent Night, Deadly Night. Maybe I should dedicate the rest of the holidays to those or maybe not. The one caveat to this review is I did watch this one alone. It wasn’t part of a schlock night, so it probably has more entertainment value if you have a group to laugh at it with. Though we watch a lot of crap, and I think you’ll still find this one on the lower end because of the hokey premise and fairly uninspired kills.

What it has: A stripper lovin’ preacher, a new take on the origins of Santa, a lot of screen shots of a book you can’t read, use for crappy christmas gifts, a lot of wrestling moves that can kill, flaming coal, and a reason to tell your kids why Santa doesn’t come anymore

What it doesn’t have: Rudolph, very much gore, a reason to care about the main characters, a police force, or a low budget

If you have friends there are probably other horror comedies I would pick up first. However, if you still have those friends after watching quite a few horror comedies I imagine you could have a decent time with this one.

2/5 curling stones

This entry was posted on 12/30/2009 at 12:21 and is filed under 2 Brains with tags American Horror, Apocalyptic, B-Grade, Blood, Campbell, Campy, Chainsaws, Cheesy, Comedy, Demons, Directors, Flies, Fucked up, Fulci, Fun, Gore, Graphic, Grave Digger, Guns, Guts, Headless Corpse, Horror, Japanese Horror, Knives, Machetes, Massacre, Monsters, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nightmares, Raimi, Romero, Schlock, Sex, Silly, Special Effects, Strippers, Tequila, Transgender, Troma, Undead, Vampires, Virgins, Zombies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.