Night of the Living Dorks (watched 3/24/10)
I remember a joke about an optimist. It’s about a kid digging in a room full of shit, and when his parents ask him why he responds “Well, with all this shit there’s gotta be a pony in here somewhere.” I’m beginning to feel like I’m looking for that pony, and Night of the Living Dorks was just another clump of manure flying over my shoulder. The fear is that tomorrow night won’t be filled with the clomping of hooves or even a couple of coconuts clanging together.
... and no you'll never be Bruce Campbell
It of course is compared to Shaun of the Dead. But it seems really any movie that has a zombie in it and makes you chuckle gets compared to Shaun of the Dead. Just like for years any movie with a zombie in it was the next Night of the Living Dead. It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact it’s more reasonable to say American Pie didn’t need to be remade with zombies in it and worse actors. It’s even better to say “those are classics, stop fucking with my hopes.” Where NOTLDorks gets it’s 5.8 on IMDB is beyond me. “It’s a crapfest that could only be worse if JLo was in it” to quote some member of schlockfest who I was too brain dead to acknowledge.
Don’t watch it. Too many corneas were harmed in our screening already. It’s not the worst piece of schlock I’ve ever witnessed, but it’s not worth passing over all the amateur porn or Youtube videos of kids screaming on rollercoasters on the internet. Here, in fact, watch this instead. I promise you’ll like it better.
What’s it have: Teen love, virgins, elixirs, hot teachers, students, preps, German hipsters, subtitles, dubbed version, oh did I mention cliches, an overrated IMDB rating, a negative impact on producers pocketbook
What it’s missing: Well, if you’re looking for a box of crap, it’s not missing a thing.
For the love of Shaun of the Dead… skip it.
1/5 needlessly long alternate endings
Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods 
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