Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods

You couldn’t have lower expectations about a movie at the title screen. It looks like you’re about to watch a blown out version of Sabotage by the Beastie Boys filmed in 1988 with a hand held VHS Camcorder. On top of that when the movie gets going you better have read the back of the DVD. The only dialogue I could understand was “Hi I’m Barry.” “Oh I’m Robert. Nice to meet you.”  However, somehow, it’s the first movie that managed to keep Luke awake in the last 3 weeks in spite of his faux swine flu.

It builds.

I can’t explain it. I’m not sure how he did it. But when you’re done with it you realize how much genius was wasted on The Lord of the Rings. Dammit Peter Jackson why aren’t you making more guys “drool” on screen?! This movie has a bigger body count than Scarface, Rocket Houses, Vomit Rituals, Recycled Brains, Amazing Head Explosions, hemorrhoidal aliens, and a 1970 Ford Capri GT MkI European model. What it doesn’t have are women. Yes. This movie was a gloriously one sided affair with all of the “undertones” you would expect.

We laughed our asses off.

This definitely works best as a group, though one of the six of us was strangely silent. You do have to get past the first WTF 10 minutes or so and then you’ll be well on your way. There is a plot,probably, but unless you were born in New Zealand you won’t be able to confirm it. And the only special feature (yes subtitles would be special on this DVD) were freeze frames from the film.  The movie as a whole seems rather low budget, however by the time they blow up a car, the side of a house, and 5-6 heads you realize PJ may have had a little cash behind him. Well worth the watch and it steadily climbed over other schlock as it went on.

4/5 Orange Ball Gags

When it comes to schlock it’s really hard to compete with what the eighties had to offer, and Sleepaway Camp is one of it’s finer achievements. As a testament, 8 out of 9 of us stayed awake the entire movie, and even the one who slept enjoyed it when he was awake. This movie truly has a little bit of everything except nudity (how much can you have when the whole film is kids?), well maybe a little.

The costumes? clothing? alone are enough reason to watch this movie, however when you throw in the 5 “guys in daisy dukes” dogpiles, one guy on guy water balloon fight, and even a prolonged baseball scene with a masturbating catcher you really can’t pass this movie up. The kill scenes are laugh out loud funny and some are even, dare I say original. And to finish it all off if everything mentioned isn’t enough, there’s a suprise ending, and no I won’t spoil it here.

The more people you have to watch this movie with the more fun it becomes. It’s rife with racism, pedophiles, homoerotic campers, amazing hair, and good times. There’s really not a reason to not watch this movie. There’s plenty to look for in the scenes like the opener where the dad on the sailboat has apparently raised two masts. If you read too many reviews though you’ll spoil the fun, so stop reading and go watch it…

4/5 Curling Irons (Because mannequin nudity isn’t real nudity)