Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods

I’ve been lazy. I haven’t been writing, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been watching. Black Sheep, not the Chris Farley movie from the 90s, is one of my favorites. It’s like going home to chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes/gravy and creamed corn. It’s all you could ever want, and you leave satisfied. It also gives me hope that amazing horror comedy can still be made.

So it’s no surprise that when I had a group of nonschlockers over wanting to have a good time I pulled this one off the shelf. Why else? Because by the end of the movie 6/7 people spent the whole movie laughing, and the seventh person spent the whole movie hiding behind a pillow squealing with fear from the zombie sheep. Oh, that’s right, zombie sheep.

The movie takes one of the more humanist countries, gives them  greedy capitalists, and pits them against the most fearful herbivores to ever munch grass. And if that’s not enough of a plot (at least by schlock standards) it goes everywhere a sheep movie can go, everywhere. And while it goes there, it looks really good. Weta Workshops did the special effects (same company that did Lord of the Rings).

But enough babbling, here’s what it has: zombie sheep, methane gas, golden shear awards, Experience, hippies, International investors, Frau fetish scientist, cattle dog, acupuncture, evil older brothers, and a genetically altered wool sheep’s coat guaranteed to be softer when you grab it from the sides

What it’s missing: anybody you’ll recognize, the Fiords, neighbors, or cows

I’m sure you’ve already seen it, but in case you haven’t…

5/5 Baaaaaas at the moon

If shlock night had a mascot it would be Special Dead (plot summary). It has by far been the favorite of all shlock nights (and though I haven’t had a chance to write about them all there have been far too many). We’re still talking about when the next time we’ll watch Special Dead. It’s everything you want your horror/comedy to be, and it gives you hope that somewhere in the world someone is as twisted as you are.

The damnedest thing about the movie is, beside it’s heart, some of the characters are actually endearing. To say the filmmakers didn’t take the film seriously would probably be an undermining statement because they cared a hell of a lot. Ultimately that’s what makes this film… (did i just type that?) movie extraordinary. 

Ultimately you are watching some independent film makers who are really on top of their game. Better yet they know that their audience wants to have fun, but aren’t 13. The special effects, music, and insanity are all there. In some ways I feel like you spend all your time watching mountains of bad movies hoping to stumble across a movie this amazing. Through and through we’re counting down the months until our annual Special Dead viewfest. In the meantime you should not only immediately rent, buy, and tell everyone you know how great this movie is but check out their website at http://www.specialdeadmovie.com/

If you’re offended…

5/5 Electric Chainsaws

“This is poultrygeist where the blood keeps spilling…” and with those words Poultrygeist became one of those instant Schlocknight classics. The visuals are disgustingly absurd, the writing only slight less offensive than a snuff film, and a moral that only Troma could attempt to pass off. Poultrygeist crosses the line so far you can only help but laugh, and laugh, and puke, and laugh some more. (Plot summary here) Truly though you have to have a incredible (or incredibly fucked up) sense of humor. It’s best watched in a group of friends so you make fun of whoever had the nerve to pick it up off the shelf. The bottom line is it’s a low budget, volunteer cast doing a b-grade musical about undead chickens. There is more puke, shit, and green gooey crap than there is blood in Dead Alive. It has everything a B-grade lover can want, but I WARN you… don’t watch this film and then try to get your friends to watch it. You’re way better off being able to say “That’s disgusting! I had no idea this was in here!” (Remember the first time someone had you watch “2 Girls 1 Cup”?)

Yup.

If you’re fortunate enough to get ahold of 3-Disc version the last disc is karaoke sing-along of the songs in the movie. Normally I’m not a huge special features fan, but we’ve spent more than one night singing the theme song to Schlockers who have moved to far away lands. I can’t say I’ve watched this movie a second time. It will happen though, it’s one of those inevitabilities of schlock… Watch out for the CLAMS (Collegiate Lesbians Against Mega-conglomerations)!

“you’ll be eaten alive by zombie chickens toniiiigggghhhtttttt….”

5/5 Drumsticks