As a group (and sometimes that group is one. but rarely) we gather on Wednesday nights to watch the lowest of the low, the scum of the amoeba. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry out in pain, ultimately a movie is watched. These are the reviews. Please don’t expect much as in some cases there’s isn’t much material to work with.
Archive for Machetes
The Mission
Posted in Other Schlocky Observations with tags American Horror, B-Grade, Blood, Campbell, Campy, Chainsaws, Cheesy, Comedy, Demons, Directors, Flies, Fucked up, Fulci, Fun, Gore, Graphic, Grave Digger, Guns, Guts, Headless Corpse, Horror, Japanese Horror, Knives, Machetes, Massacre, Monsters, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nightmares, Raimi, Romero, Schlock, Sex, Silly, Special Effects, Strippers, Tequila, Transgender, Troma, Undead, Vampires, Virgins, Zombies on 08/06/2009 by schlockfestThe Mad (watched 8/5/09)
Posted in 1 Brain with tags American Horror, B-Grade, Blood, Campbell, Campy, Chainsaws, Cheesy, Comedy, Demons, Directors, Flies, Fucked up, Fulci, Fun, Gore, Graphic, Grave Digger, Guns, Guts, Headless Corpse, Horror, Japanese Horror, Knives, Machetes, Massacre, Monsters, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nightmares, Raimi, Romero, Schlock, Sex, Silly, Special Effects, Strippers, Tequila, Transgender, Troma, Undead, Vampires, Virgins, Zombies on 08/06/2009 by schlockfestFirst off you have to understand we enter schlock night with low expectations, however it was a unanimous decision that “The Mad” was by far the most painful movie of schlock night. Don’t let it’s 5 minute quirky song intro get your hopes up, like it did ours. The intro was simply so it could break the 80 minute barrier. It was a dialogue-fest, and it’s writer and special effects budget was blown on Billy Zane. Had we researched any further on IMDB we might have found this “A Father-Daughter Feel Good Zombie Film”. Unfortunately this wasn’t tongue in cheek. In retrospect it’s funny to describe the movie, but really you could discuss the whole film having watched the trailer.
Highlights from the movie do include a discussion on how to kill zombies, and the closing credits.
Suggestions for improvements: replace Billy Zane with Henry Rollins, have a sex scene with anyone but cows
Spare yourself. .5 (that’s half)/5 Brains
Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods 