Brains, Blood, Boomsticks, & Broods

So I went rogue and watched a movie without my fellow schlockers. Actually I watched 2, in the blog to follow I’ll put up my thoughts on Part III. Why on earth would I abandon my fellow schlockers? Because this movie violates rule #1 of schlock: I’ve seen it before, and I’m sure quite a few of them had to0.

First off I was nervous. Not about Jason showing up and shoving an icepick into my head, but because I hadn’t seen the original in a a really, really long time. Now *spoiler alert for the original* I remembered his mom was crazy fucked up and killed all the campers, at least I was pretty sure. But I couldn’t remember what the hell happened to Jason and why she was so pissed off. I started off searching the good ole’ webs and then realized “this was the freakin 80s! They had to recap everything.” Sure enough the beginning starts off with the lone survivor from the original having nightmares, which are the perfect segue for the memory challenged or the skip-aheaders. It’s a great way to start and the damn thing just keeps getting better.

Friday the 13th is a freaking classic for a reason and it’s sequel is no slouch in the bedroom either. Teenagers wanna have sex and Jason wants to kill people. You like sex. You like Jason. It’s really a no brainer. The thing about this movie: it’s fun if you’re by yourself and it’s fun with a group of people. You can’t go wrong here, from the tight claustrophobic cropping of the camera to the endless shots of Jason’s feet as he walks around stalking girls in tight shorts and boys with bad hair. There are still some genuine scares, but for the most part it’s all popcorn fodder. If you haven’t seen it in a while throw it on and a hockey mask for good measure, and remember It’s all done now. Mommy is pleased. You’ve done a good job.

4/5 headless moms

What it’s got: Dead campers, soon to be dead campers, psychology, Rolling Rock, the obligatory warning and the obligatory skinny dip, Betsy Palmer, machetes, fluffy dog with a bow in it’s hair, who where’s short shorts?

What it’s missing: Any way for Ginny to not be batshit crazy for the rest of her life

This entry was posted on 05/31/2014 at 20:32 and is filed under 4 Brains with tags American Horror, B-Grade, Blood, Campbell, Campy, Chainsaws, Cheesy, Comedy, Demons, Directors, Flies, Fucked up, Fulci, Fun, Gore, Graphic, Grave Digger, Guns, Guts, Headless Corpse, Horror, Japanese Horror, Knives, Machetes, Massacre, Monsters, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nightmares, Raimi, Romero, Schlock, Sex, Silly, Special Effects, Strippers, Tequila, Transgender, Troma, Undead, Vampires, Virgins, Zombies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.